MAKE.MONEY.FAST

     by Eric Garrison
     
   
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   Hi, my name's Eric Garrison, and you're not going to believe this, but
   a year ago I was destitute, but with the help of a junky old ADM-5
   terminal and a 300bps modem, I became fabulously wealthy. How did I do
   it, you ask? Excuse me while I push some of these stacks of $100 bills
   aside so I can type better on my new personal Sparc 20... I started a
   chain letter. No, really! All you have to do is broadcast this letter
   across thousands of newgroups, annoying millions of people, and
   wasting decades of other people's time (if you add it all up).
   
   
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   OK, so I lied. I never started a chain letter. I'm sitting here typing
   on a 386-SX/16 Linux box, with my $25 Nike's propped up on the desk.
   
   Chain letters are sort of like weeds. They crop up everywhere, annoy
   everyone, and no matter how much you flame them, they seem to keep
   coming back.
   
   Yep, you got it, the mail message became an instant chain letter, one
   of the fastest growing and most famous. Chain letters being rather
   like a virus themselves, the people trying to stop the virus, however
   well-intentioned, were the ones who spread it.
   
   The funniest part of this is that in the message, it warns "Some
   miscreant is sending e-mail under the title 'good times' nation-wide".
   There was a chain letter that started with this title that I saw a few
   years back, so my guess is that one virus inspired another.
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   This letter has been around the world seventeen and a half times. Here
   are some quotes to encourage you to be a dupe too:
   
   "I got the letter and passed it along and what do you know? I won the
   lottery twice that week!"
   
   Bob Gates, Computer Programmer
   
   "After I deleted the letter, my hard drive crashed, throwing away a
   week's work. I was fired for this, and when I was unemployed for a
   year, my wife and kids left me. I now have permanent B.O. and it's all
   because I was careless and got rid of the chain letter. Don't make the
   mistake I did!"
   
   Herman Parsley, Farmer
   
   "Sure, I sent the chain letter along. I was down and out, living with
   friends, looking for work, and look at me now, I'm on TV almost every
   day, and most people in North America know my name!"
   
   K. Kaelin, Out of Work Actor
   
   "I shoulda listened to Kato before deleting my mail."
   
   O. Simpson, Actor, Ex-Jock
   
   
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Previous Articles by Eric Garrison

   
   
   [LINK] Mar '95 - "There Goes the Neighborhood"
   
   [IMAGE] Apr '95 - "Look at Me!"
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