~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eye WEEKLY October 6 1994 Toronto's arts newspaper .....free every Thursday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EYENET EYENET WHEREFORE WHIPS.AND.RUBBER.CHICKENS? by K.K. CAMPBELL University of Waterloo has banned the Usenet newsgroup ont.personals.whips.and.rubber.chickens (OPWARC). Yes, there's really a newsgroup called that, and yes, they won't let their students read it. Waterloo has a notorious rep for banning newsgroups -- such as alt.sex.stories . It has every ont.* groups -- even something called ont.events.macwator.ece . But no OPWARC. RC-phobes. "ont.personals.whips.and.rubber.chickens is a discussion forum for persons with RCs and other inanimate partners," says OPWARC guru Jim Mercer (jim@reptiles.org). The newsgroup was created in February, 1992, to help fight the hate-mongering stereotypes about rubber chickens that would lead to a university banning a newsgroup. It's fun to watch the new netters stumble upon OPWARC. "What the hell is this all about?" wrote Pat Cross (pcross@superior.carleton.ca) upon discovering the group. "I am serious here. Is this a serious group for users of inanimate objects for sexual pleasure? Why rubber chickens in particular? I am really and truly mystified as to the uses of a rubber chicken in a sexual context ... perhaps I'm just not using my imagination." And Waterloo wants to prevent its students from this thrill of discovery? "This group gives us a place to discuss our relationships with inanimate partners without fear of evil intrusion by societal misfits," says James Cummings (jcumming@epas.utoronto.ca). He says the main evil is people from Buffalo. Buffalonians are envious that there is no NYPWARC. They are barred from posting to OPWARC. "They try to forge articles from other countries to get in here," Mercer says. "But we know all articles not from Ontario are really from Buffalo." Another problem are social prejudices about RCs. Take Nikolaus Maack (nmaack@superior.carleton.ca), who wrote to the group: "There comes a time when one realizes that one is truly alone and unloved, unless they can somehow convince a woman to beat them with a rubber chicken (or a hand-drawn facsimile). That time has come for me." Mercer applauds Maack's sexual self-discovery but is outraged by the association of RCs and violence. eye joins Mercer in lobbying the Toronto School Board to enter into public school curriculum the fine alternative-lifestyle books My Daddy And His New Rubber Friend and What's That Thing, Mommy?. These were introduced in New York City with great success. Meanwhile, we ask Ontario students to report instances where OPWARC is banned by campus cops so that we may: 1) mount a human rights case against such institutions; and 2) laugh in their faces for actually banning something called ont.personals.whips.and.rubber.chickens . DIGITALLY HIP Tragically Hip is online. Or so they claim. I sent email a month ago asking exactly who was online, them or some administrative flunky. Email still lost at sea. On Aug. 12, this unnamed person wrote an open letter to fans: "It's been two weeks since we joined the net. Thanks for all the communication so far. As you may have figured out, we don't have a clue what we have gotten into here ..." Confuse them more. Write thehip@hookup.net . THE GREAT BALD ENO Lots of discographies kick around the net. If you wanna know what's already around, ask in the Usenet newsgroup rec.music.misc . Just found one for Brian Eno. Eno holds a special place in my heart -- who else had the talent to fool me into thinking Devo had talent? Read alt.music.brian-eno . WWW Eno stuff thru http://www.acns.nwu.edu/eno-1, or gopher acns.nwu.edu . Make sure to scan the email supposedly from Eno wherein he declines to join the Eno mailing-list because he expects nothing but why- don't-you-make-albums-like-this-one-any more fan input: "I'm afraid to say that admirers can be a tremendous force for conservatism, for consolidation." WRITING ABOUT RADIO Newsgroup alt.fan.cfny has been created. Come watch CFNY assistant music director Paul Dhingra (shonarr@io.org) defend himself against old-guard hordes demanding to know why Pete and Geets were dumped. Hours of fun. CRAZY PEOPLE?! ONLINE?! Come out Wednesday (Oct. 12) to the Horseshoe Tavern (Queen and Spadina), for "Crazee Rock 'n Blues," a benefit concert to ensure Toronto's mental health community stays online. On stage: The Michael Keith Band, Jerome Godboo & Deepdown, Joe Toole & Porkgrinder, The Dice. Starts 9 p.m. $5 at door. "It's a downtown party for high tech in the low life of Parkdale," says Patrick Burton (madmagic@io.org), board member of the Consumer/Survivor Info Centre at 1499A Queen W. "We're one of very few places in Parkdale where crazy folks and street people can go when they want to use a computer," Burton told eye. He also co- sysops a writer's BBS called Aria7 (416-699-4960). TV NATION RIPPED HIS FLESH Ya, ok, so I do watch TV occasionally still ... blush. I saw, and actually enjoyed, the "Best Of..." episode of TV Nation, the show hosted by the guy who did the movie Roger And Me, Michael Moore. A delightful collection of sneering humor in TV-newsmagazine style, TV Nation asks questions others dare not. A TV Nation street poll discovered "10 per cent of Americans would pay $5 to see Senator Orrin Hatch (R - Utah) wrestle a big, mean dog on pay TV; 86 per cent of all viewers would root for the dog; 100 per cent of women would root for the dog." I'd pay $20, easy. TV Nation has its own newsgroup -- alt.tv.tv-nation . Or write tvnatn@aol.com to plead NBC bring it back. TV Nation has many supporters. R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe was interviewed wearing a TV Nation cap before the MTV Music Awards. I do not hold this against TV Nation. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Retransmit freely in cyberspace Author holds standard copyright Full issue of eye available in archive ==> gopher.io.org or ftp.io.org Mailing list available http://www.io.org/eye eye@io.org "Break the Gutenberg Lock..." 416-971-8421