Bill O' Rights Lite for The New York Times, January 27, 1993 Page 1 Page 1 Bill o' Rights Lite by John Perry Barlow Executive Chairman, Electronic Frontier Foundation The Reagan-Bush era is officially over. Freedom lovers across America rejoice in expectation that the vise on our heads, tightening incrementally for 12 years, will now loosen and that government might go back to running the country instead of our personal lives. We may be kidding ourselves. The song may be over, but the melody will linger indefinitely. The Federal Bench, from the Supreme Court on down, now consists of a Reagan-Bush majority which is generally more youthful than its views. These Christian Soldiers will continue their march into our homes, hearts, and heads for a long time. They will be inconvenienced by few legal impediments. 12 years of increasingly panicky decisions...most of them in support of somehow winning the War on Some Drugs...have resulted in a profound revision of the of the First 10 Amendments to the U. S. Constitution. This has been accomplished with quiet judicial efficiency, sparing us the untidy political melee of a constitutional convention. The result, based on current case law, looks something like what follows, to which I strongly recommend comparison with the original. Amendment 1 Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by its own public exercise thereof and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of responsible speech, unless such speech is in a digitized form or contains material which is copyrighted, classified, proprietary, or deeply offensive to non-Europeans, non-males, differently-abled or alternatively preferenced persons; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, unless such assembly is taking place on corporate or military property or within an electronic environment, or to make petitions to the Government for a redress of grievances, unless those grievances relate to national security. Amendment 2 A well-regulated Militia having become irrelevant to the security of the State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms against one another shall nevertheless remain uninfringed, excepting such arms as may be afforded by the poor or those preferred by drug pushers, terrorists, and organized criminals, which shall be banned. Amendment 3 No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, unless that house is thought to have been used for the distribution of illegal substances. Amendment 4 The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers. and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, may be suspended to protect public welfare, and upon the unsupported suspicion of law enforcement officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and any such places or conveyances or property within them may be permanently confiscated without further judicial proceeding. Amendment 5 Any person may be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime involving illicit substances, terrorism, or child pornography, or upon any suspicion whatever; and may be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, once by the State courts and again by the Federal Judiciary; and may be compelled by various means, including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily fluids, or encryption keys, to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so constituting an admission of guilt; and may be deprived of life, liberty, or property without further legal delay; and any property thereby forfeited shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of law enforcement agents. Amendment 6 In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and private plea bargaining session before pleading guilty. He is entitled to the Assistance of underpaid and indifferent Counsel to negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under federal mandatory sentencing requirements. Amendment 7 In Suits at common law, where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited resources to spend on legal fees, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved. Amendment 8 Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will remain in custody, where cruel punishments are usually inflicted. Amendment 9 The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others which may be asserted by the Government as required to preserve public order, family values, or national security. Amendment 10 The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, shall be reserved to the United States Departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the States are willing to forsake federal funding. Mr. Barlow is co-founder and Executive Chairman of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a group dedicated to freedom of expression in digital media.
