~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eye WEEKLY October 13 1994 Toronto's arts newspaper .....free every Thursday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EYENET EYENET COURTING COURTNEY ON THE NET by K.K. CAMPBELL There's something called the Kook Of The Month award on Usenet. Read alt.usenet.kooks for details and tips on the latest kooks kicking cyberspace. Toronto's Joe Baptista (baptista@gold.interlog.com) was winner in July. The most famous KOTM nominee ever came Sunday, Sept. 25, when Darren Mckeeman (mckeeman@netcom.com) tossed in the name of none other than Courtney Love -- lead singer for Hole and widow of Kurt Cobain. Ol' Courtney's been trailblazing the wild net, y'see. And I have no animosity towards her for that. Some posts have been compiled by Carol E. Mariconda (rcmaric@ritz.mordor.com). Love gives Mariconda direct permission to circulate them. (To get the whole batch, FTP to ftp.io.org and look in directory /pub/eye.WEEKLY/misc .) "I'd like to make one thing perfectly clear, I actually like Courtney Love a lot, and I like her band," Mckeeman writes in his formal KOTM nomination. "She is, by far, the person with the most balls in the music industry today." Nonetheless, Mckeeman thinks her composition style makes her worthy of the vaunted trophy. "She has a singularly distinctive typing style that blows away all comers, even people like 'Andrew , Beckwith'. I hereby nominate Courtney Love to be Net.Kook of September, a fitting month for a fitting subject." You make the call. (Quoted passages below are unedited.) LIVE THRU THIS TYPING JULY 27, 7:49 p.m. (EDT) -- "OK KOOL get me to thee net.....i just dont wanna sidle anywhere near Albini and his horde of math rockers.....please post this magic question.....tell me someone why the hell i am iconoclastic re;gen eccchhhh but have not sold as much as the Breeders(and the answer is NOT that we suck and i dress funny and married a rockstar-and you know it fishdick) [...] Im sorry if ive upset your concept of celebrity by actually participating in this,but HEY! your concept of celebrity was just boomer handed to you anyways...see,just like Thurston....IM ACCESSIBLE!I LIVE IN A HOUSE! I HAVE A CHILD!I AM HUMAN!THE LIVINGHIEROPHANT! THE COVER OF MS.AND ESQUIRE THE SAME MONTH!AND IT ISNNT A CONTRADICTION! I MUST BE.....WAIT FORIT....A FEMMENIST(Thanx Noam) "okay fuckoff peace love empathy and kiss my ass.... She adds a postscript: "AND NO MORE FUCKING MID SUICIDE EMAIL -- CALL THE FUCKING HOTLINE OR WRITE TO VEDDER [...] i can see it now...rambling,incoherent,POOR TYPING SKILLS!!!publish at your own peril,i promise to be very very pissed......" JULY 29, 1:21 a.m. -- "aol owes me bux,i made them bux w this publicity!" (AOL is America On Line, the computer system she uses.) AUG. 8, 3:34 a.m. -- Some middle-class moralist writes she's a bad musician, did heroin while pregnant, was "too caught up in her own addiction" to prevent Cobain from snuffing himself, even holds Love responsible for the OD of Hole bass player Kristin Pfaff -- and concludes Love should have been stoned by the audience at Lollapalooza. After writing about crowd diving and Dionysiac delights, she replies: "i know math boy [...] Stoning me would have been really 'Kool' Dave- are you VERY into Pantera? or just a mix of that and Anthrax? i KNOW you had fun during the Beastie set,are you all dolled up in yer best X_BOY? as for the term "math rock/boy" it refers actaully to Godel ,Escher,Bach....It was Godel,the mathematician of complete Chaos,who said that ,2+2 does NOT neccasarily =4. Love Courtney" ATTACK OF THE MATH BOYS AUG. 11, 6:02 p.m. -- Jesse Garon (j_garon@pentagon.io.com) publicly relates his recurring fantasy of having dinner and drinks with Love at the Dresden Cafe in L.A. and spending the night "discussing the finer points of Doug Hofstafter's book G”del, Escher, Bach while the lounge stylings of Marty and Elayne play in the background." She writes him: "I will bring along my little slim green volume- very Gap sort of book, but helpful nonetheless 'women and words'- Its great- we get to make up words like "Testerical" as opposed to 'hystericaL' -after the Greek'Hyster' , Meaning uterus,Math rockers are stoic testerical bastards who only want to discuss the effect of never taking one typing class,as if I were preparing myself for a future CLERICAL position! actually,the truth is i nod out so much on the keyboard that i drop my smokes on it- anyone want my used Mac 180c-its got genuine Heroine Burns on it, but i digress-" AUG. 21, 2:44 a.m. -- Someone reads her reply above and whines this indicates Love is doing smack. Love writes: "it was 'heroine' burns, God sometimes you kids make the Boomers look fucking hip." AUG. 21, 2:35 a.m. -- Rolling Stone runs a pic of Love that some netters point out: "Looks like she just come out of a bar brawl (or reading the replies to her posts)." "She does look like chisled spam in that photo." She writes back: "I LIKE thaet fucking photo, giv , e me a damm break I just got off stage...sweaty,smeary...what the fuck am i a MODEL now. EAT ME i love my grammar." SEPT. 4 -- Love learns Lesson One: forgeries are easy on the net and if you're famous you'll get them. This forgery has her slamming Dave Grohl over a rumor he's joining Pearl Jam. SEPT. 6 -- She writes after seeing the fake post: "I did not hear of David Grohl Joining Pearl Jam and even if he did its really his life and his business." She says she noticed several forgeries popping up but most seemed innocuous. "i thought it was more making fun of my crazy Joycean -smack addled writing 'style.'" Recently, Melody Maker ran something about Love's net.activities. Her fans angrily noted MM editors corrected some of her "crazy Joycean -smack addled writing 'style." The philistine pricks. Bottomline: OK, I'm a fan now. But only if Courtney keeps kicking "math rockers" in the nuts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Retransmit freely in cyberspace Author holds standard copyright Full issue of eye available in archive ==> gopher.io.org or ftp.io.org Mailing list available http://www.io.org/eye eye@io.org "Break the Gutenberg Lock..." 416-971-8421